This Post is About Fernando

This kid is getting back his 8th grade physique and I am incredibly jealous. Okay, so I did lose 20 pounds since 8th grade but the results aren't as dramatic as this betch's results. Goodness. If you know his myspace, compare the jelly donut photo and this one. What the hell?!?!?!?!

That's it. I'm gonna have to go ano on this one. For some reason, I cannot accept the fact that boys lose weight faster than girls. Fuck that noise.

When There's Nothing Left to Burn (You Have To Set Yourself On Fire)

So I just came back from camping today with Wikit's family and their motley crew. I dug it. The kids were nice and the scenery was gorge. My health, on the other hand, disinigrated. I've been living off organic milk, vegetables, caffiene pills and red bulls for the past 3 weeks. Thursday night, I stuffed my face with pizza and coconut-tasting-something, Friday was french fries along with ultra-flammable liquid subtances, and Saturday was Kraft Mac and Cheese, and hella marshmallows. Saturday night I felt like dying and knocked out at 9 on the dot. This morning wasn't any better. I was holding back vomit and screams. I tried my best to pull an "under the rug" attitude but my face said "I need to go home and poop...now!"

When I got home, (I didn't poop), I downed about a gallon of water, mad carrots, a can of mountain dew (redbull replacement), drank TWO slimquicks (i can't find my pillz) and blickity-BLAM! Back to normal, bitches.

I even put on some makeup. Four days without doll-ing myself up took its took. I looked/felt like a derelict. (look it up) Yeah, I'm fucking shallow and materialistic. Shut the fuck up. Lemme enjoy lipgloss and air conditioning. betch.

I'll go fucking Regina George on your ass if I don't get my shameless, shallow fix of consumerist femininity.

RECIPE: Spinach-Artichoke-Ravioli Lasagna

And this one I'll try on Wednesday



1 (10-ounce) packages chopped frozen spinach
1/4 stick butter
4 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 quart milk
Freshly grated nutmeg, to taste
Salt and pepper
3 cups ricotta cheese
1 tablespoon fresh lemon zest
4 cloves garlic, minced
4 packages large fresh ravioli cheese, wild mushroom or spinach stuffed varieties
2 (15-ounce) cans artichoke hearts in water, drained and thinly sliced
1 1/2 cups grated Parmigiano-Reggiano

Bring a large pot of water to a boil for pasta.

Place oven rack in middle of oven and preheat broiler or oven to 425 degrees F.

Defrost the spinach in the microwave for 10 minutes on high.

While spinach defrosts, heat a medium sauce pot over medium heat. Cut butter into small pieces and melt. Whisk in flour and cook a minute or 2 then whisk in milk. Bring sauce to a bubble, as it begins to thicken, drop heat to low and season it with nutmeg, salt and pepper, to your taste.

Combine ricotta cheese, a little salt and pepper, lemon zest and garlic in a bowl.

Cook pasta to al dente, 5 to 6 minutes in salted water.

Remove spinach from the microwave and wring it completely dry in a kitchen towel. Open the towel and separate the spinach with your fingers. Pile up the sliced artichokes on your cutting board.

Drain pasta well. Ladle just enough white sauce in the bottom of a lasagna dish to lightly coat it. Top with 1/3 of the pasta. Top the pasta with a layer of half of the ricotta cheese dotted with half of the spinach and artichokes. Thinly cover the veggies with more white sauce then top liberally with grated cheese. Repeat these layers then top your lasagna with the remaining 1/3 of the cooked ravioli, the last of the white sauce and some grated cheese.

Place under hot broiler or into a preheated 425 degree F oven until sauce browns and bubbles, 3 minutes

RECIPE: Chicken Georgia

I'm totally making this tomorrow.


4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) butter
4 skinless boneless chicken breast halves
1 cup sliced fresh mushrooms
2 tablespoons minced shallots
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
4 ounces grated mozzarella cheese

Melt butter over medium heat. Add mushrooms and shallots and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Cook 10 minutes. Add chicken and cook 10 minutes on each side, or until tender. Transfer chicken to platter and sprinkle with grated cheese. Top with mushroom mixture. Cook and let stand 5 minutes or until cheese melts.

down wit' the sickness, day 2

Day two of a fever that hasn't broken yet. I drove with this fever. So, everyone who was in the horrific traffic on route 46 today suffered my bitchy wrath. I even wore a hoodie to school. Yeah, it was 87 degrees today. Now, I'm home, munching on a cornucopia of food I brough home from Whole Foods. This is my food and I know no one else will steal it because no one in the house likes hummus, carrots, sour oranges, etc.

I'm also talking to my dad at this very moment. He's home, too. In case I haven't mentioned it, my daddy got his pinky toe amputated last week. Diabetes is a total party killer. Hopefully, this will push him to take care of himself. I wish I could say the same about my mom. One mont after those 3 kidney surgeries, bitch is back to red meats, chicken and cheeses. Ugh. just wait for surgery 15.

I was planning on going to see Portugal, the Man right now at Maxwells...but, I feel like shit. And for me to skip out on Portugal. the Man is major.

My Mind says Yes but my Body says "Aw.. hell nah!"

Oh what a surprise! I look like shit and I have a cold during the hottest days of the year!

I should have seen this coming. Little Ashley had a fever and few days ago, and of course, I was the caregiver. Now, I have the immune system of an AIDS patient (oooh that was sarcastic) so if I come within a foot of someone sniffling...I'm gonna get sick.

Tomorrow, after class, I'm driving my ass to the supermarket and loading up on anything green, anything menthol-y (aka my excuse of chocolate chip mint tofutti ice cream), and anything that can withstand being in my backpack for hours and hours.

That's right. I'm brownbaggin' from now on. Fuck fast food. That sludge probably contributed to my illness!!!

Xantrex 3 : Window to Creativity

Diet pills make me a genius. Their punch of caffiene and legal addictive stimulants wake up the creative part of my brain! Everything disposable in my room has turned into either a decoration and changed in some way so it can be re-used. Its great!

Last time I took one, I wrote a ridiculously awesome literary criticism for class.

Now, I wanna do so much that there's not enough hours of sunlight to do it in!

No Truer Words Have Been Spoken....

It's true...

so true...

I kinda wish that I could have been married by now.